PERSONAL HISTORIES: PRESERVING MEMORIES
By
Dr. Ilil Arbel
All too often, the idea of personal histories brings to mind an image of genealogical research, or a tedious list of dates, places and events. Perhaps a family tree, with some pictures of family members pasted on it. This is the wrong idea. Personal histories are the most exciting stories in the world – stories that mirror people’s lives and souls. They are true stories, sometimes heart-wrenching, sometimes hilariously funny, tales of the deepest human interest.
Everyone has a story. This unique, valuable tale expresses the thoughts, feelings, and events of an individual life. No one else can tell it – the deeply personal circumstances, the joys, the sorrows, the adventures can only be expressed by the person who has experienced them. You could write it yourself if you enjoy writing, and if not, you could share it with a personal historian. Working together, you will make this priceless information available to your family, friends, and perhaps – who knows? Even a larger audience. Many personal biographies have been published with great success.
Do you believe that only celebrities should have their memories preserved and published? So many people make this mistake! To those who love you, your story is more meaningful, personal, and exciting than the repetitive biographies of movie stars or political figures. Your biography, prepared and printed as a beautiful book, or preserved as a video, is a permanent legacy that will enrich your own life and stay with your family forever. Personal historians? What are these mysterious beings? Most people have never heard about their work. These are individuals who are so passionately devoted to the idea of preserving memories that they have made it into a profession; certainly it’s also a mission. They even have a non-profit organization, to which I proudly belong, called The Association of Personal Historians. We work in many media, each according to their tastes and abilities. People create videos, audiotapes, and privately printed books.
Since I am a writer, I prefer printed and published books. But I wanted to add an exciting bonus. The books I write for my clients are published by a very reputable print-on-demand publisher, and thus are available on Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com, Borders.com, and the publisher. Anyone in the family or in the other side of the world can order it directly! A book can be a very beautiful object, ready to send out to family and friends. It must be well written, illustrated with photographs, and professionally produced. A daunting project? Not really! Done in easy steps, this is the system that I, and some other personal historians, tend to follow.
1. The client and the personal historian meet and talk about the project, and then a contract is signed by the two parties. Contracts vary a great deal. In my case, and in the case of other personal historians, the client pays a flat fee, and all publishing expenses are paid by the personal historian.
2. Over a few meetings, the client and the personal historian meet and record their conversations. Or, alternatively, the personal historian can supply the client with a fun questionnaire, aimed to prod the memory, if the client prefers writing to recording. Sometimes the two methods are combined.
3. The personal historian turns the memories into a manuscript, combining the client’s voice and personality with the personal historian’s professional writing skill and style. Plenty of time is needed for that step – the personal historian normally spends at least ten hours to each hour of recording! Then, the book is submitted the client’s approval.
4. The book is published by the above-mentioned print-on-demand publisher. Stored electronically, it will never go out of print or require a second edition. The publisher will print as many or as few books as the client wishes, so the client never invests large sums in a huge edition at a vanity press.
5. These books can be either soft cover or hardcover, depending on the client’s preference. The client receives a few free books. Since this becomes a real trade book, he or she can order additional copies directly from the publisher, Borders.com Barnesandnoble.com, or Amazon.com.
Alternatively, I sometimes create a shorter, basic version of a personal biography in the form of a booklet, with about ten pages and up to five photographs. It can become the core of a permanent scrapbook – another form of preserving memories. They can very nicely complement each other. This version is produced in-house in a desktop publishing format, and bound in a way that allows the person to remove the pages easily and photocopy as many booklets as he or she wishes. Well and good, you say. But why bother? Would it really matter ten, twenty, fifty years from now? Yes, it would. It would matter a great deal. Unfortunately, many senior citizens or their families do not realize it until it is too late, and reaching the public, explaining the need, is not always easy.
Recently I attended a meeting of the New York members of the Association of Personal Historians. A varied and interesting group, they impressed me with their keen judgment regarding reaching the public. The entire group agreed that the only way to reach people is to make them realize the horrible loss, the regret, and the sorrow, of not being able to record their parents’ or grandparents’ memories. Can you really tolerate the feeling that you could have had this priceless treasure trove of family history, adventure, life itself, and did not do so when you had the chance? One of the members told us about a videotape he made of his grandmother. It was a wonderful record. Years later, after the grandmother already passed away, the man and his mother sat down to watch the priceless tape – only to realize, to their horror, that most of it was accidentally recorded over by the mother! Her reaction is heart breaking. She said, quietly: "I will never forgive myself." Can you forgive yourself if you had the chance to preserve the memories, and you have not done so? For your children, your nephews and nieces, anyone in your extended family down the generations. Which is why so many personal historians see their work as a mission.
How does one become a personal historian? There are as many answers as the number of people who do it. Of course, the easiest way is to tell about it is discussing my own experience.
I am a writer. I have written in many fields, including fiction, natural history, medicine, business writing, fiction, and children writing. But my favorite kind of writing is biography, oral history, and tales.
One of my previous books was a biography of the Jewish philosopher, Maimonides. Currently, I am working on a biography of Hillel the Elder. I am also a regular contributor to Encyclopedia Mythica, an award-winning, on-line encyclopedia of myth and folklore. I have written numerous articles for them on Judaic myths. In addition, I retold various folktales that were told to me over the years by individuals who did not want them lost, but could not write them or publish them on their own. I feel that preserving these tales, memories, and oral histories is a privilege and a joy.
One of my greatest treasures was the body of stories my mother told me, since my earliest childhood, about her own childhood in Siberia. Being a story hound, I never could have enough of it and always demanded more. The touching tale of her brother Sasha, who planted a lemon seed that floated in his tea, was always very poignant to me. Sasha succumbed to a deadly childhood illness, and his dying wish was that his family, who planned to immigrate to Israel, would take his tiny lemon tree and plant it in an Israeli orchard. The family indeed immigrated to Israel, carrying the little lemon tree on the Trans-Siberian line in cattle trains. They faced serious dangers, such as being shot by Manchurian officials, contagious diseases that had no cure in 1919, chasing a runaway train, being stranded in Shanghai, and facing arrest in Egypt.
This was a yearlong journey of harrowing experiences and great hopes. Twenty years ago I persuaded my mother to write a few notes so that the story will not die. I was afraid I might forget something. Surprisingly, I never forgot anything. Every word she ever told me, and she was an extraordinary storyteller, was imprinted on my memory. Between the oral tales and the notes, I had everything needed for a good story. One night I reread the notes, quietly jotted down points from the oral stories, and realized that the tiny lemon tree provided a thread that could give me a book. And so I finally had my story. All that remained to worry about were the family photographs. I had the opportunity to learn how to scan and repair the wonderful old pictures in my albums through Photoshop. Once this was accomplished, I had a finished book. It was published, and happily it was well received and had some very encouraging reviews.
People saw it, and suddenly a lot of information started reaching me from both the US and Israel, telling me that other individuals were doing something very similar – writing family histories. In Israel it mostly, though not exclusively, deals with memories of Holocaust survivors. In America it can be anything at all. Many such books were created by members of the Jewish community. No wonder – it’s a community that loves learning in any form, that feels strongly interconnected, and has a strong sense of history. And one day an Israeli friend e-mailed me the URL for the website of the Association of Personal Historians. One look and my fate was sealed. I joined and became a personal historian. More than anything else, this work spoke to me because I have a strong sense of the glory of everyday experience. I do not believe that there is such a thing as a boring or an uninspiring life.
Think about the biographies published every day about movie stars, athletes, and political figures. Undoubtedly, they are often well researched and beautifully written. But how repetitive the stories are! The climb to fame is very much the same in all fields. Staying on top in the movie industry or sports is a tale that rarely changes. On the other hand, the lives of ordinary people are completely unique. Following a myriad of professions, lifestyles, religions, and hobbies. Living in towns, villages, cities, and rural areas. Having journeyed, escaped, immigrated, invented a cookie recipe, rescued dogs and cats, created a quilt, built a house, painted pictures, played chess with a chimp – the list is endless.
All lives are diverse, dynamic, and exciting. I will never forget a story I heard from an elderly woman, a relative of a friend. She was well dressed, beautifully groomed, charming. I knew nothing about her but she seemed cultured and financially comfortable. I would have never guessed the story of her youth. I am not sure if this happened during the twenties or the thirties. She was orphaned when she was eighteen years old, and somehow no money at all was left when her parents died. She was entirely alone in the world, and few careers were open to young women at that time. In addition, this gently brought-up young girl was not educated in any skill that could have supported her at such a young age. Sure, she had her piano and painting lessons, and went to a normal school, but where would this get her? And yet she was proud and independent, and she was determined to support herself. Finally she found a job at a meat packing plant. Her story detailed a scene of grisly horror. She had to stick her hands into huge carcasses to extricate certain organs. She had to deal with large buckets of blood. All day long she had to smell the revolting products needed for the creation of sausages, mixed with the scent of blood and flesh. "No wonder," she said quietly, smiling at my horror-stricken eyes, "that I became a life-long vegetarian." How did she get out of this predicament? What events turned the tide for her? I don’t know and never will and it haunts me. What a pity that this woman’s memories are not properly recorded. What a book this could have made.
The fascination of personal memoirs mostly relate to the details of everyday life. What games did grandma play with her brothers and sisters in Detroit, where they so happily grew up? Who came to Aunt Rachel’s sewing circle that had resulted in this magnificent crazy quilt that is still your pride and joy? How was Passover celebrated in Budapest, before Uncle Joe had to immigrate with his parents? All that is part of the joy and the sense of mission a personal historian experiences every time he or she creates another precious treasure for a family or a community. I believe that the Jewish community has particularly interesting stories to share. We are a group of people who are steeped in history, tales and stories. For two thousand years, the Jewish nation lived without land. And yet they survived as a nation. All experts agree that what kept it so were the books. I have spoken to many Jews about their lives and memories. I can’t think of a single Jewish life that could not have been the basis for a marvelous book.
Visit Dr. Arbel's website at http://www.ililarbel.com